How to be at Peace | Internal Family Systems Exercise

Dr. Marie Fang offers a “parts work” exercise from the Internal Family Systems framework to help you feel more integrated in your approach to life and more at peace about your decisions.

Article for further understanding of Internal Family Systems (IFS):

How to Be at Peace: Embracing an Integrated Self

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If you’re looking for a Christian Psychologist in the South Bay, Dr. Marie Fang would love to hear from you! Her areas of specialty include Post-College Anxiety and Depression, Immigrant History, Race and Ethnicity, Sexuality, and Faith Identity. Marie Fang, PsyD offers an LGBTQ safe space for her clients.

Music Credit:
“Outside” by Ikson

This video is not intended as professional counseling or clinical advice. If you’re in need of support, please consider speaking to a professional to be evaluated.

If you feel like your mind engages in an internal dialogue so epic that it could be featured in a soap opera, you may be helped by this Internal Family Systems Exercise to help you experience greater peace. Today we’re going to explore something called a “parts work” exercise from Internal Family Systems.

Today we’ll focus on a specific exercise from this framework to help you feel more integrated and at peace within your internal dialogue. To start, you might be helped by focusing on a specific situation or decision-making process that you feel unsettled about.

1. Identify Internal Parts
It’s important to first identify who all is participating in your internal dialogue. Sometimes there are about 2-4 distinct characters that like to chime in with their input on your life. See if you can parse them out and give them names to help you understand them, such as “planner,” “nurturer,” or “critic.”

2. Write out the Dialogue
Often when we let these internal parts go on default mode, there may be some disruptive dynamics at play, such as one voice dominating or interrupting, while others might be a bit quiet. By writing out the dialogue like a screenplay, it allows an opportunity for all parts of yourself to take turns appropriately in your internal dialogue.

3. Moderate the Conversation
If the written conversation becomes toxic or abusive in nature, feel free to moderate to be sure all parties are interacting appropriately.

4. Reread
The process of writing out our internal dialogue often accomplishes what we need to feel more peace, but sometimes rereading the dialogue can be illuminating as well. If you feel you may need more support, you might consider sharing this dialogue with a trusted loved one or with a therapist to help guide you towards a healthier internal interaction.

Over time, you may find that the tools you learn in this exercise will start to naturally bleed into your normal thought process. If you ever get stuck again, feel free to repeat this exercise as needed.
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